Finding Santosha With Dishsoap

When my husband and I first started living together, he hated doing dishes.  I mean, hated.  So much so, he flat out refused to do them.  The post meal messes were always mine to clean and it became a bone of contention as we both worked outside the home, equally.  I felt we needed to share in the domestic work load.  Now, several years later, he actually tells me to get out of the kitchen so he can do the dishes. I find him there now humming along with a kirtan, a peaceful smile on his face as dish soap suds on a sponge and a pan.  I know, it’s a part of every woman’s fantasy.  How did this miracle occur, you wonder? 

It’s a word and a concept:  Santosha.  It means contentment, but like all Sanskrit terms it goes a little deeper.  At its basic core, it’s about finding contentment in all things, not just about where you are in life, but in everything you do.  Okay, easy to find contentment in reading a compelling novel curled by the fire, petting the soft fur of your sleeping dog, eating a warm apple pie with a cinnamon crusted top with no money or relationship worries.  But I’m talking about finding contentment in being unemployed, being single, or in the things you don’t exactly like doing.  Like washing the dishes.

While the concept is pretty straightforward, applying santosha isn’t necessarily easy.  Imagine finding contentment in cleaning up the cat litter - when your pet has diarrhea.  Or getting a ticket for speeding when you weren’t.  Those things probably don’t happen every day - at least I hope not-  so how can we practice santosha so that we’re ready to handle the discomfort or the injustice with the ease of contentedness?  You can do it like my husband does, find something that annoys you to no end and do it repeatedly until you can actually find contentment in it.  Or if you want to bring it on the mat, think of trying Bakasana (Crow) and becoming frustrated that you cannot lift both feet off the floor.   Or losing your grace in Natarajasana (Dancer).

In your asanas, practiced observance -free of judgement- is one way to begin (that is, no internal dialogue that says “this hurts, can’t wait for it to be over,” “I’m terrible,” etc.) Relax into where you are with the pose at this time and realize that -right now- it is as it should be, and that -that- is perfect.  

It is important to note the difference between finding contentment through mindfulness versus blocking out sensation by using mindfulness as a device.  For example, you could clean up the sick cat’s litter by simply going through the motions without feeling anything. Santosha?  Not exactly.  You need to have both the awareness and the contentment while you clean it.  That’s santosha.

So he washes dishes to practice santosha.  Lucky me.